Forming friendships and building peer relationships is something many children learn naturally as they grow. But for children on the autism spectrum, this process can be a lot more complicated.
Understanding why this happens can help parents, caregivers, and educators offer better support and guidance. Let’s take a closer look.
How Autistic Traits Affect Peer Relationships
One of the main reasons children with autism may struggle with friendships lies in their autistic traits. These are the behaviors, thoughts, and emotional patterns that are commonly associated with autism.
Traits like difficulty with communication, limited social imagination, and repetitive behaviors can make it hard to connect with others in typical social settings.
Studies have shown that higher levels of these traits are linked to lower levels of peer acceptance and increased peer rejection. In other words, children who display more autistic traits are often less likely to be welcomed into peer groups and more likely to be excluded.
Interestingly, this connection holds true even for children who haven’t been formally diagnosed with autism. That means that even subtle traits can influence how a child is treated by their peers.
This can be particularly noticeable during the primary school years, when children start forming deeper friendships and are more aware of social differences.
The Role of Prosocial Behavior and Other Influencing Factors
Prosocial behavior includes actions like sharing, helping, and cooperating. These are all skills that are important for making and keeping friends. While most children learn these behaviors over time, those with autism may find it more challenging to develop and express them.
One surprising finding is that prosocial behavior doesn’t seem to cancel out the effects of autistic traits when it comes to peer acceptance.
In studies of six and seven-year-olds, researchers found no strong connection between prosocial behavior and peer acceptance when autistic traits were also present. This suggests that even if a child tries to be kind or helpful, their autistic traits might still make it difficult for them to be fully accepted by their peers.
Researchers also looked at whether other factors changed this relationship. The results showed that these factors didn’t significantly impact the outcomes. This means that the way autistic traits affect peer relationships is fairly consistent, regardless of intelligence or gender.
However, when a child had both high autistic traits and high externalizing behaviors, the results varied more. This highlights how complex the social experience can be for children with autism—especially when considering how these dynamics can affect family life, as explored in Autism’s Impact on Sibling Relationships and Wellbeing.
What Parents and Caregivers Can Do to Help
While these findings might feel overwhelming at first, they also offer clear directions for helping children improve their peer relationships.
One of the most important steps is teaching social skills in a way that works for the child’s unique learning style. Social skills training can include everything from practicing greetings to learning how to ask someone to play.
Encouraging participation in group activities is another great way to support social growth. Being part of a sports team, a club, or even a small group project gives children chances to interact with peers in a structured setting. These experiences often lead to shared memories and friendships.
Helping a child improve their communication skills is also key. This includes both verbal skills and non-verbal skills, such as making eye contact or reading body language. Practicing these behaviors regularly in a low-pressure environment can build a child’s confidence and ability to connect.
It’s also helpful to support a child’s interests and passions. If a child is really into dinosaurs, for example, helping them find other children who share that interest can make socializing easier. Shared interests often serve as the first building block in a new friendship.
Finally, teaching empathy can go a long way. While many children with autism are capable of empathy, they might need help understanding how to express it or recognize it in others.
Reading books about feelings, role-playing different scenarios, and discussing everyday social situations can help children begin to see the world from someone else’s perspective.
The Bottom Line
The relationship between autism and peer difficulties is real, but it’s also manageable. With the right support and strategies, children with autism can build meaningful and lasting friendships.
It’s important to remember that autistic traits play a big role in shaping social experiences, but they don’t have to define a child’s ability to connect.
Even though some children may struggle more than others, those challenges don’t mean they’re not capable of strong relationships. With patient guidance, practical tools, and a focus on progress rather than perfection, many children on the autism spectrum can learn to enjoy the give-and-take of real friendships.
Through encouragement, practice, and the right strategies, even the most socially anxious child can find their place among peers. At Jade ABA Therapy, we offer personalized support that builds confidence and meaningful connections, making a real difference in each child’s journey.
Our autism services in Maryland are rooted in compassion, evidence-based methods, and a deep commitment to helping children thrive in everyday social settings. If you’re ready to see how your child can benefit from our care, contact us today, and let’s take the first step together.
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